Sun among the clouds

We went to church tonight and we got to sit down with our friends and eat a nice meal of pasta and green beans and salad, washed down with iced tea, and then sit together with some of the church members and talk about the fruits of the spirit. Tomorrow, Cindy and I will eat supper with Kate, then go to Williamson to have dessert and a study with our community group from church. This group is made up of five couples, two of which were connected enough to want to attend the memorial service for dad back in July. Connections are important in many ways, but when you are suffering from such a loss it is so tender to see friends with whom you have taken communion for many years now take the time to drive up from Griffin to do nothing but give you support. I really appreciated that. Of course, Mike McNeil came down all the way from Lexington, Kentucky. Allison and Brad Howell came down from Alpharetta, even though our connections were so new. Friends of my mother, friends of my father, friends of brother and sister. John and Joe. They were all appreciated.

The summer was tough. There were times of real fun and relaxation. I remember Kate and I went to see the Braves sweep the Phillies on July 2nd. It was a great game and the Braves went way out to celebrate our Patriotism on the verge of July 4th. It was a lot of fun and the Braves won and it was a great time to share with Kate.

Then came July 3rd and we drove up to Dunwoody to enjoy the weekend with Mom and Dad, and then Dad had to go into the hospital and he soon began the long descent toward July 13th. Of course, we had the Dunwoody parade and tried to celebrate July 4th without dad there. Later, Cindy and I had the following weekend we spent with our community group up in the mountains. We watched the sun go down on Brasstown Bald. I saw a bear skitter up into the trees. We enjoyed fellowship and a trail walk around the lake at Vogel State Park and Bill and I waded into a river and went after trout with fly gear. On the way back, we stopped at the hospital and saw dad and he seemed to be doing better and the doctor said he would be going home the next day....

Then came Monday, July 13th. We begin our lives with this concept that the world is this way, populated with certain family and friends and when you are very small, the loss of family members is not so personal for most of us. One of my grandfathers was gone before I was even born. Although I lost one grandfather when I was a teenager, it was a long time before my grandmothers passed away and Kate could know them both, although she was young when they passed.

But when dad passed away, it was different. Perhaps it was because I am fifty two and feel my own mortality. Perhaps it was because I have always depended on him to be there. Perhaps it was both. We all felt the loss in such a significant way. Still, I think we were all amazed by how many of our family and friends came to our side. Aunt Meg and Uncle David were there. All the cousins came. Then the IBMers, the Women's Club members, the friends from high school, the friends from church, the ladies from Mount Vernon, Mrs. Baker, Mrs. Honeycut, Lee and Pete, Jeff Rummel and Mrs. Rummel. It was amazing.

Then Aunt Meg. And the trip to St. Pete and sitting in the hot sun at the military cemetery. Of course, we could go out to the beach and watch the sun go down again and enjoy family members and friends and it wasn't all gloom.

At this point, we need to keep our connections. We need to work harder to show we matter to each other. In a lot of ways, we are doing that. In some ways things have worked to make this more of a reality. Kevin and Susan live closer to mom. Maggie is at Emory. All of those things draw us closer together whether we started that way or not. Thanks to our friends. Thanks to our family for making it easier to handle. All we can do is come alongside of each other and make sure they know we care.