Food evolution

Yesterday I made the brief statement that I had graduated from oysters to hot dogs. Cindy took offense to that, saying that there was no way to graduate from oysters to hot dogs. I think I understand what she meant when she said that and I can certainly appreciate her perspective on the controversy. When one considers the respective 'aura' or status of oysters vs. hot dogs, clearly oysters have more panache than hot dogs. Oysters are served at very fancy restaurants and are much more expensive than hot dogs generally. So I understand why Cindy might have considered it a downturn in the development of my taste to go from oysters to hot dogs.

However, we must consider the basics of oysters compared to hot dogs. For instance, an oyster is a sea creature which has been around for maybe millions of years. It is very simple in its makeup, an invertebrate with little color, a soft, wet gray mass inside a rock-like shell.

Now don't get me wrong. I love oysters. Oysters are my friends. I love them raw or broiled or steamed or in a shot glass with beer and cocktail sauce. Perhaps my favorite accompaniment to a hot sandy day at the beach or on a boat.

But let's be realistic, an oyster is an oyster. A simple sea creature which requires little processing.

A hot dog, on the other hand, is the original processed food. Almost every culture has some type of sausage. Meat, ground up, mixed with spices, stuffed in a casing. Sure it is somewhat disgusting to consider that process, but it is at least a process. There is more to it than dredging a number off the bottom of a bay or estuary.

So for that reason, I think we are safe in saying that we developed from oysters to hot dogs. No matter where you might find them.

In that regard, it has always been a topic of consideration for me as to what would have led early man to make use of an oyster for food. After all, the exterior of an oyster does not look appetizing. More like a rock. What could have led someone to say, "Hmm, I think I'll crack open this rock and eat its insides."

I've got to believe that there was a bit of serendipity involved in the process, when someone saw an oyster shell being opened, exposing the soft center. Even then, there would have to be some other chance occurrence other than just extreme hunger, before one would be moved to pick up the shell, crack it open and eat the salty, squishy meat inside. And when I say meat, I am really being generous here. There is a big difference between an oyster and a ribeye steak. Or even a crab or lobster.

No, it took quite a bit of courage to take that oyster shell in hand, crack it open and then swallow the prize inside. I've got to believe, something like Tabasco, a cracker and a decent beer had to be the second inventions in the process.

Or perhaps an oyster knife.

Hot dogs are much simpler food items to get into.