Listening to the message

Who was it who said that we live in the God-haunted South? This morning, a dream woke me up from a sound sleep at 1:30 o'clock a.m. I dreamed that the church was disciplining me for failure to abide by my pledges. The dream was very vivid. All of these famous Presbyterians were involved. Even people who are probably not Presbyterians but who have Scottish names were involved in the dream. Bill Elliott as an elder in the church? How bizarre. The dream made me consider my shortcomings concerning living up to my obligations.

I know I have a tendency to internalize these things and churn them around in my stomach with all the acid. Its just a part of my nature. A lot of people would probably think that I am thinking this out too much.

But I sit here and wonder what God is trying to tell me. I feel like it is all out of control. I feel like I am running out of time. I feel like I have so little control over the situation. Do I need to release it all to God?

I believe that God is always trying to educate me in little ways, even in ways that seem insubstantial. Some might consider it a little paranoid. But I am trying to keep my eyes and ears open.

I understand that my failure to tithe is partially a lack of faith on my part. I know that turning it all over to God is in the message. If I took the effort to set aside ten per cent it might be a small way to take control. The problem is is that it is counter-intuitive. Giving away control to take control.

Why is it so hard?