More of the same, etc, etc, etc

More failures. I used most of my cash on groceries this afternoon, but I forgot Cindy's allergy medicine. I am being set up to fail. I felt so weak this afternoon. I couldn't get done what needed to be done without stopping and catching my breath. This evening Cindy wanted me to massage her back, but I couldn't do it. My hands felt like they were dry twigs, on the verge of breaking. I couldn't find the spot she wanted me to massage. I was tired and she got frustrated. Me too.

This afternoon I was supposed to meet with some parties for a closing. Actually, I was supposed to meet with them at 10:00 o'clock this morning. They didn't show up until this afternoon. Then, the Buyer didn't bring her checkbook. Round and round and round and round.

The afternoon was nice. We had worked in the garden for several hours. I had showered and picked up some things at the grocery. There was a breeze that kept everything cool. I got everything ready and thought we would eat out on the patio. I turned on the decorative lights and put on some music and poured a glass of wine. I was clean and felt good. I was sitting on the patio, reading, when Cindy came to the door to tell me she wanted to eat indoors.

So I fixed the salads with the beef and the blue cheese, but Cindy wanted more meat. So I gave her more. I wanted to listen to the music had been listening to on the patio, but Cindy called her dad and then talked to her mom afterward. When she finally got through, it was a waste and we started watching the tv. After supper I went upstairs to watch the end of the Braves/Rockies game. But I fell asleep and missed the last innings. Cindy kept calling to me to find out what I was doing. I finally came back downstairs and she asked me to massage her back.

She's sitting on the couch and its very difficult to massage her in that position while she watches the news. As I stated before, I couldn't find the right spot and my hands were weak. It was a disaster. I know she sees this as an act of love and she doesn't ask me to massage her back as regularly as she used to. But it is not easy. It hurts my hands. Whiney, whiney, whiney.

I need to gain control.