Sunday, August 9, 2009

Dining together

When I was a child, meal time meant that everyone in the family was gathered around the kitchen table and we ate a meal prepared by Momma and enjoyed the company of each other. I can't say we sat around discussing the problems and concerns of the family members. My parents didn't use meal time as a forum for educating the children, as Joseph Kennedy did with the young Kennedy children in Boston. When we were younger, the children didn't say much at the dinner table. It was only later, when we were older, that we joined in the conversation to a great degree.

One of the concerns I have had as the husband and father is that we don't eat dinner at the table and enjoy each other's company. Instead, most meals are eaten in the living room with the television going on. Now that doesn't mean that we don't enjoy each other's company. We talk and joke and discuss things. Perhaps more than some. But there isn't that sense of sanctity and specialness that is achieved when the whole family comes to the dinner table and gives their time to the whole.

In this environment, the dinner eaten together, whether at home or in a restaurant, becomes quite special. When we were young, our parents took us to restaurants regularly. Eating out was a special occasion. It was fun. To this day, I enjoy eating out with Cindy or Cindy and Kate or any combination of family members and friends.

A meal eaten together in an environment which is conducive to that feeling of togetherness and specialness is worthwhile in many ways. I often say that Christianity and Judaism are unique in that they both involve a common meal as part of the center ritual of the religion. Whether it is Communion or Passover, both religions call the family and friends together and ask them to invite God into the presence of the gathered.

Last night, Cindy and I celebrated our anniversary with a meal at one of our favorite restaurants in Atlanta, "Babette's Cafe" on Highlands Ave. The first time we went there was about ten years ago, with Susan and Kate and Mom and Dad for Mother's Day or Father's Day. I remember sitting around the table in the restaurant and enjoying the sublimity of the food and enjoying the presence of each other in that quiet, controlled atmosphere. It gave me joy and peace in a way that few things do.

Since then, we have come back to Babette's for meals on special occasions or when we want to make a day more special. One time, I took off early from work, and Cindy and I drove up and watched a foreign movie, with subtitles, about the life of Edith Piaf. Afterward, we drove around trying to find some place to eat supper and continue the French experience. We wound up at Babette's and really enjoyed our time together.

So, last night, Cindy and I dressed up and drove down from Dunwoody to Babette's and took our table and enjoyed a delicious meal with glasses of Bordeaux and found, again, the love we still have for each other, twenty six years after the fact of our vows. A half loaf of french bread was brought to the table with butter. I ate mussels in a sublime sauce, followed by a fish dish with fennel and tomatoes. Cindy, on the other hand, enjoyed heirloom tomatoes and a heart of palm salad with veal picatta. Afterward, we enjoyed our desserts and finally left our table, satisfied and enjoying the connection remade between us.

Life is not so hard that we can't make it more enjoyable with a loaf of crusty bread and a glass of good French wine. A fresh blueberry tart is not a bad addition, either.

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