Survivors of the tragedy

Today the sky was perfectly blue, devoid of humidity and clouds. The temperature in Dahlonega was cooler than normal and even more so down by the river. After gathering at the property along the Chestatee, we went back into town and ate supper at Shane's Rib Shack. It seemed like everyone enjoyed the time together. Afterward, I gathered Kate, and Luke and Lily in dad's Honda Pilot and headed back to the river and fished for about an hour. I caught a small trout and Luke caught a nice sized version. After awhile, the Labrador retriever owned by the son of the people who own the house next to the property came over and ran through us and into the water and interrupted the fishing, so we drove out and dropped Luke and Lily off with Frank and picked up Maggie at Susan's house before returning home.

Now Ed and Cicely and Carney and Beth and Nikki and CJ are gone back to St. Pete and Frank and his family will return to Florida tomorrow. We will need to go home tomorrow afternoon, leaving Kate with Momma to give her company and take care of her. Now comes a long trail in which everyone in our family will participate to some degree. Doing without father. Still, he will be with us in many ways.

We lose sight of so many details of the handprints of others so easily. From time to time I think about my grandmothers and my grandfather. It might be time to pull out some dusty pictures and remember their time in my life. Perhaps it might be time to sit still and remember.

I must find some place to get my thoughts together. Life will not stop for me to come to conclusions. Conclusions will occur with or without me. The pace of life continues despite our best efforts to slow the whirl. One need only read one's emails to realize that nothing ends when it seems that it should. They still come. The sacred and the profane.

Yesterday, amidst the cacaphony and silliness of the extended family, I took a beer out the front door at Susan and Kevin's house and walked across the yard. It was relatively quiet. Relatively peaceful. Beyond the walls of my funk, events continued. And I thought that I should sit on the front porch and enjoy the illusion of peace. As my father might. Sip on my beer. Avoid the rush of family and friends and the world spinning.

We need that. I need that. It will come. I will take that time. I will find a kind of peace. There are always losses in this world, from day to day. The news is forthcoming with losses we can mark or discard. Some which catch our attention and make us think. Some which fail to break through the hard shell we wear on most days. But they continue to come.

Death is always a shadow at the corners of our vision. We cannot avoid them. We can only avert our eyes so far. Perhaps the best solution is to continue on in a manner in which might show that we value the life we are given. The bitterness of Lamentations and Ecclesiastes will come. But the end of Revelations promises peace. Peace.

At least a moment's respite, color and light in a world which can seem dark. And we float in a very large boat, filled with the survivors of the tragedy.