Claiming kin

When I sit in front of this computer screen and begin to write, I can also look out the window and see parts of College Street and South Hill Street, as the traffic goes by. It is about four thirty and already quite a few people are driving in their cars, heading homeward. Some are stopping at the drug store across the street. Some are heading toward the bank down Hill Street, or perhaps, to the Piggly Wiggly further down the road.

Cindy and I have lived here for twenty five years and we have become close enough to the community so that there are many people that we know and consider our friends in the area. That would include people we know who live out in Spalding County or in the contiguous counties.

At the same time, there are still many members of the community who are strangers to us, or even partial strangers. Last night, Cindy, Kate and I drove over to J. Henry's Restaurant, which is about half a block from my office in a small strip shopping center. When we entered the restaurant last evening, the interior was quite dark and you could barely recognize any of the patrons.

However, living in Griffin for nearly twenty five years has taught me to look around the room to see if I recognize anyone I know. As we crossed the dark restaurant, a voice spoke out from one of the booths and I realized that there was someone there I did know. As per custom, I walked over to their booth and spoke with some friends of ours who we first met when Cindy and I were newly arrived in Griffin and we were all having first children about the same time.

After supper, we walked over to their table and enjoyed a long conversation about our children and their pursuits and the general well-being of the economy. I couldn't help but think about some of the get togethers we had had when we were young couples with infants in arms. Griffin High football games and University of Georgia functions and Derby parties ran through my mind.

As I sit here and watch the cars passing under my window, I think about the connection that has been forged between myself and the people in this community. I also consider the relative strength of the connection.

When I was a sophomore at W&L, I took an Anthropology class in which we read ethnographies on various people groups. One of the more interesting works that I read described the Cheyenne tribe of Native Americans. In the ethnography, the writer stated that the Cheyennes only considered the members of their tribes and the contiguous tribes to be "human beings." Any one outside that group was so far beyond the connection that they were not even considered "human beings."

Another distinction that was placed on peoples encountered by the Cheyenne was the concept of "civilized peoples." Outside those few tribes they encountered in their general area of settlement, the peoples they encountered were not considered "civilized." So you can see that the Cheyenne people drew a line within which they defined those people who were part of their family, and outside of which the people were considered so different as to be completely different in species and family.

When I walk down the street in downtown Atlanta, I notice that most people avert their eyes and attempt to avoid contact with me. This is clearly an attempt to separate themselves from me as a part of their "group." I assume that if they knew me personally, that they would establish eye contact and smile, and even shake my hand to show our connection. But clearly, if they do not recognize me, that attempt to "claim kin" is withheld from me.

In Griffin, on the other hand, if I walk down the street, most people will minimally establish eye contact with me, perhaps mumble a few words of greetings, and even smile at me, even if they don't really know me or consider me part of their group. In some fundamental sense, I would suggest that this is a physical attempt to "claim kin" with me and expand their group to include me.

Another example of this is the custom of stopping when one sees a funeral procession passing through town. In Griffin, when a funeral procession passes, the people encountering that procession stop their cars, stop walking and exhibit some showing of respect for the deceased and the members of the procession. Again, I would suggest that this is a subtle attempt to claim kinship with the group.