Friday, July 17, 2009
Dad's memorial service
Today was a warm day in Sandy Springs when we drove over from Dunwoody to celebrate my dad's life. I enjoyed the service. I think the pastor did a good job. I was nervous about my part in it; I had volunteered to speak for the family. I knew the pastor would be speaking about his fishing. I spoke about the part of our lives in which my father had such an important part. I talked about the times when my dad came to games and watched our practices and such. I think it went over pretty well. It got a little tough to complete at the end. I wanted to say something important about my father. I am still very addled in my thinking. I will try later to write something worth reading. I will get over this. I just have to complete the processing of the experience.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Reality
I was hearing the sound of bootsteps
On the frontporch of a white frame farm house
In Montgomery County, Tennessee.
I could still hear the hard, hollow tone
Resounding from the planks
To my ears in this very moment,
Despite the fact that the house
Was torn down almost ten years ago now
And I am sitting in this chair,
In my office, three hundred miles away.
And I wonder what is more real:
The feel of this chair on my backside
As I type out these lines
Or the sound of those footfalls
On the wooden porch
Swept free from leaves
By my grandmother's liver-spotted hands
With an old hickory broom,
The planks painted grey against the weather's beating
Which still blows
A strong, scented breeze at my back
From the fields now fallow.
On the frontporch of a white frame farm house
In Montgomery County, Tennessee.
I could still hear the hard, hollow tone
Resounding from the planks
To my ears in this very moment,
Despite the fact that the house
Was torn down almost ten years ago now
And I am sitting in this chair,
In my office, three hundred miles away.
And I wonder what is more real:
The feel of this chair on my backside
As I type out these lines
Or the sound of those footfalls
On the wooden porch
Swept free from leaves
By my grandmother's liver-spotted hands
With an old hickory broom,
The planks painted grey against the weather's beating
Which still blows
A strong, scented breeze at my back
From the fields now fallow.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Dark tones
I do not feel as secure as I did the week before. On Sunday, Cindy and I drove back to Dunwoody from the North Georgia mountains and met Momma and Kate in Dad's hospital room at St. Joseph's. The swelling in dad's face had subsided and I was able to talk with him and have him respond in a normal fashion. I didn't have to guess what he was saying. I told him I had caught a rainbow trout with the fishing rod and reel he had bought me for Christmas. We talked about Ravenscliffs Falls and Dukes Creek Falls and he commented that the twin falls at Dukes Creek were very pretty. At one point in the visit, a pulmonary doctor came in and told him he would probably be going home the next day. Everything was optimistic.
Tonight everything took a darker tone. Around 10:15, Susan called and informed me that dad had fallen on the stairs at home and the emt's were coming to take him back to the hospital. I told her I would be coming up. When I got off the phone, I suggested to Cindy and Kate that all three, four with Tex, should go up to Dunwoody. Kate took a shower and Cindy and I packed our bags.
The phone rang and Lily was calling from the next door neighbor's house. I spoke with them, then called Susan again, who informed me that Dad had passed. I called Frank and let him know the news. I promised I would tell him more later.
Then I had to tell Kate. Now we are in Dunwoody with Mom and Lily and Susan, Kevin and the girls. It is time to go to bed and try to sleep. I am not sure how easy that will be. I have to be in court in the morning in Lawrenceville. Nothing can be done that early. I will attend the hearing then return and cancel my appointments for the rest of the day.
Everything seems frozen now. People are saying things, making promises, wishes, prayers. There will be more later. But everything seems unreachable. The world is a little sadder this early, early morning. The Founder of the Feast is sleeping.
"A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing."
Tonight everything took a darker tone. Around 10:15, Susan called and informed me that dad had fallen on the stairs at home and the emt's were coming to take him back to the hospital. I told her I would be coming up. When I got off the phone, I suggested to Cindy and Kate that all three, four with Tex, should go up to Dunwoody. Kate took a shower and Cindy and I packed our bags.
The phone rang and Lily was calling from the next door neighbor's house. I spoke with them, then called Susan again, who informed me that Dad had passed. I called Frank and let him know the news. I promised I would tell him more later.
Then I had to tell Kate. Now we are in Dunwoody with Mom and Lily and Susan, Kevin and the girls. It is time to go to bed and try to sleep. I am not sure how easy that will be. I have to be in court in the morning in Lawrenceville. Nothing can be done that early. I will attend the hearing then return and cancel my appointments for the rest of the day.
Everything seems frozen now. People are saying things, making promises, wishes, prayers. There will be more later. But everything seems unreachable. The world is a little sadder this early, early morning. The Founder of the Feast is sleeping.
"A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing."
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Late Thursday afternoon
I am thinking about my life in general and wondering about where I am in the great scheme of things. Sometimes I feel like I am way behind and need to run to catch up. At other times, I feel like I may have a handle on this thing and others might learn from my example. Fortunately, I don't have those moments of self-satisfaction that often, lest I fall prey to my own pridefulness. It is nice to have a wife and an adult daughter who can right me when I roll over on the back of my shell and I find myself wallowing in my own selfishness.
The weather outside my window is quite pleasant. The sun is shining and I bet I could walk out into the humidity of July and feel quite happy with my life. I might drive the car home and open a bottle of St. Louis malt and hops and settle down into the comfort availing of a certain brown leather chair and really feel quite content.
On the other hand, there is much to be done. Perhaps, I should drive home, take stock of the matters at hand and get ready for tomorrow's evil and the coming of the weekend. I think I will leave this place of presumptous economy, drive home and take a long look at the new coiffure of my wife and see what she has in mind for supper.
The weather outside my window is quite pleasant. The sun is shining and I bet I could walk out into the humidity of July and feel quite happy with my life. I might drive the car home and open a bottle of St. Louis malt and hops and settle down into the comfort availing of a certain brown leather chair and really feel quite content.
On the other hand, there is much to be done. Perhaps, I should drive home, take stock of the matters at hand and get ready for tomorrow's evil and the coming of the weekend. I think I will leave this place of presumptous economy, drive home and take a long look at the new coiffure of my wife and see what she has in mind for supper.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Independence and dependence
On Friday afternoon, in the middle of the Fourth of July revelry, my father began suffering symptoms apparently caused by his pulmonary problems. These symptoms included chills, spikes in his blood pressure, and a difficulty with breathing. Niece Lily first noticed the symptoms, and after taking his blood pressure several times, Momma, Dad and I drove over to St. Joseph's hospital on Peachtree Dunwoody Road in Atlanta.
At this point, the attending nursing staff began triage on my father and decided he needed to be admitted in order to normalize his symptoms. From there, we entered the emergency headquarters, where my father was strapped up to any number of machines designed to monitor his vital signs and to pump oxygen into his lungs. After six to eight hours of sitting in an er room, I came to a passable knowledge concerning the flashing numbers on the monitor and could read what was a problem and what was not.
After several hours of treatment, oxygen and antibiotics, my father's condition stabilized; however, a doctor determined that he needed to be in the Intensive Care Unit until his levels were made stable.
At this point, they wheeled him through various empty hallways in which were stacked numerous beds and gurneys, until finally we reached the waiting room for the icu. The lights were predominately off and there were various chairs and sofas present. In one particularly dark corner I discovered someone sleeping on a couch. I felt a little like I was a supporting actor in a Fellini movie. However, a large nurse came into the darkened waiting room and informed us that we could come in and see my father in his new quarters for a few moments before we would need to leave my father to the prodders, pokers, and other tsk tskers in the ICU unit.
We came back home and found everyone awake. Kate was baking pies. Cindy was playing cards with Lily. Even Tex was watching expectantly. By two thirty in the morning, we were all back in bed, although perhaps not asleep.
The next morning, I awoke, and Kate and Lily and I drove over to Mount Vernon Highway and a place to watch the Dunwoody Fourth of July Parade for 2009. Susan, Kevin and the girls soon joined us and Cheryl, Gareth and Kevin's mom were soon to follow. The parade was long and a good way to get our minds of the unspoken subject. After the parade, we walked down to the nearby shopping center and ordered Boy Scout barbecue, beans, cole slaw, brownies and watermelon from the scout leaders. Everybody in Dunwoody seemed to be there. There were hot dogs and hamburgers, cokes and beers, rides for the kids and music for the more patriotic in attendance.
For a few hours, our minds were off the part of the show occuring a few miles to the southwest of us. Later that afternoon, Kate and I drove over to the hospital and saw my father. He seemed better and his vital signs were more normal and steady. Dad turned on the Braves and we watched a few innings with him while the machinery took note of his bodily functions and pumped fluids into his arms.
After our thirty minutes in the ICU, Kate and I left and things started to go down hill. The first sign was found when the Braves lost their lead over the other team. This was followed, unbeknownst to us, by a prick on Dad's lung, which resulted in his loosing pressure in his lung, which caused the lung to deflate. At this point, the ICU personnel re-inflated his lung, only to inflate a good bit of his body. His face looked like a full moon and his arms looked like Popeye. He could hardly talk and his breathing was labored.
On Tuesday, after Lily, Kate, Patti and I drove around the northern part of the state of Georgia on foreclosure cryouts, Lily and I entered the hospital and entered the room with Mom, Susan, Cindy and Dad. We stayed for awhile, then Mom, Cindy and Lily and I went out to eat in a Mexican restaurant in Dunwoody. Later, Cindy and I drove home and found Kate taking the whole festival of healthcare a little too much to take. Last night, Cindy and Kate slept in the master bed and I slept on the couch in the living room. Even Tex was in the master suite.
Perhaps I will get better sleep tonight.
As I said earlier, It is very difficult when the parents that you previously depended on for support and comfort, now look to you for the same type of assistance. I suppose we all go through this at some point or another. It doesn't make it any easier.
Thank God for friends and neighbors who show their empathy and compassion in these times. Where might we be without them?
At this point, the attending nursing staff began triage on my father and decided he needed to be admitted in order to normalize his symptoms. From there, we entered the emergency headquarters, where my father was strapped up to any number of machines designed to monitor his vital signs and to pump oxygen into his lungs. After six to eight hours of sitting in an er room, I came to a passable knowledge concerning the flashing numbers on the monitor and could read what was a problem and what was not.
After several hours of treatment, oxygen and antibiotics, my father's condition stabilized; however, a doctor determined that he needed to be in the Intensive Care Unit until his levels were made stable.
At this point, they wheeled him through various empty hallways in which were stacked numerous beds and gurneys, until finally we reached the waiting room for the icu. The lights were predominately off and there were various chairs and sofas present. In one particularly dark corner I discovered someone sleeping on a couch. I felt a little like I was a supporting actor in a Fellini movie. However, a large nurse came into the darkened waiting room and informed us that we could come in and see my father in his new quarters for a few moments before we would need to leave my father to the prodders, pokers, and other tsk tskers in the ICU unit.
We came back home and found everyone awake. Kate was baking pies. Cindy was playing cards with Lily. Even Tex was watching expectantly. By two thirty in the morning, we were all back in bed, although perhaps not asleep.
The next morning, I awoke, and Kate and Lily and I drove over to Mount Vernon Highway and a place to watch the Dunwoody Fourth of July Parade for 2009. Susan, Kevin and the girls soon joined us and Cheryl, Gareth and Kevin's mom were soon to follow. The parade was long and a good way to get our minds of the unspoken subject. After the parade, we walked down to the nearby shopping center and ordered Boy Scout barbecue, beans, cole slaw, brownies and watermelon from the scout leaders. Everybody in Dunwoody seemed to be there. There were hot dogs and hamburgers, cokes and beers, rides for the kids and music for the more patriotic in attendance.
For a few hours, our minds were off the part of the show occuring a few miles to the southwest of us. Later that afternoon, Kate and I drove over to the hospital and saw my father. He seemed better and his vital signs were more normal and steady. Dad turned on the Braves and we watched a few innings with him while the machinery took note of his bodily functions and pumped fluids into his arms.
After our thirty minutes in the ICU, Kate and I left and things started to go down hill. The first sign was found when the Braves lost their lead over the other team. This was followed, unbeknownst to us, by a prick on Dad's lung, which resulted in his loosing pressure in his lung, which caused the lung to deflate. At this point, the ICU personnel re-inflated his lung, only to inflate a good bit of his body. His face looked like a full moon and his arms looked like Popeye. He could hardly talk and his breathing was labored.
On Tuesday, after Lily, Kate, Patti and I drove around the northern part of the state of Georgia on foreclosure cryouts, Lily and I entered the hospital and entered the room with Mom, Susan, Cindy and Dad. We stayed for awhile, then Mom, Cindy and Lily and I went out to eat in a Mexican restaurant in Dunwoody. Later, Cindy and I drove home and found Kate taking the whole festival of healthcare a little too much to take. Last night, Cindy and Kate slept in the master bed and I slept on the couch in the living room. Even Tex was in the master suite.
Perhaps I will get better sleep tonight.
As I said earlier, It is very difficult when the parents that you previously depended on for support and comfort, now look to you for the same type of assistance. I suppose we all go through this at some point or another. It doesn't make it any easier.
Thank God for friends and neighbors who show their empathy and compassion in these times. Where might we be without them?
Friday, July 3, 2009
Braves win! Braves win! Braves win!
Last night, Kate and I drove up to Atlanta and got in line at Turner Field to see if we could get two seats in the stadium to watch the Braves play the Phillies. After maneuvering the lines at the Ticket Office, and the lines to get inspected before we entered, we bought a couple of hot glorified hot dogs, a bag of peanuts, and a couple of Bud tall boys and found our seats in the left field stands. The Braves had arranged for a very patriotic experience with 13 year old girls signing the national anthem, an American flag map of the US in the outfield, a ceremony honoring a local Georgian who serves in the 101st Airborne at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, an opera singer singing "God Bless America", a baseball games between two teams which began in Philadelphia and Boston, and fireworks after the game.
All of that was great. But the best thing was the game. First of all, the Braves swept the Phillies, 3-0. But the game itself was one of the best baseball games I have seen in a very long time. The Braves won 5-2, with two homers by Casey Kotchman and Garrett Anderson, a double by Matt Diaz, and a handful of the best defensive plays I have seen performed by the Braves, period. The game ended with the first baseman tripping backwards over the rolled up tarp on the first base side of the field and catching the third out despite the acrobatics.
After the game, I called Cindy at home and asked her to record Sports Center for us. I suspected that the plays made in the game would find their way to the top ten plays of the night. Sure enough, we put the recorded Sports Center on the television and I got to see a tremendous infield catch by Yunel Escobar behind second base, a throwdown by Brian McCann to the relief pitcher at home after a wild pitch to the backstop, and the aforementioned catch by the reserve first baseman for the final out. Three of the best plays of the night.
Despite the heat and the humidity and the self-imposed dryness caused by ingesting half a bag of salted, roasted peanuts, the two Budweisers notwithstanding, that was a great night in the ATL. Its a shame more people couldn't have been with us. And you know who you are.
All of that was great. But the best thing was the game. First of all, the Braves swept the Phillies, 3-0. But the game itself was one of the best baseball games I have seen in a very long time. The Braves won 5-2, with two homers by Casey Kotchman and Garrett Anderson, a double by Matt Diaz, and a handful of the best defensive plays I have seen performed by the Braves, period. The game ended with the first baseman tripping backwards over the rolled up tarp on the first base side of the field and catching the third out despite the acrobatics.
After the game, I called Cindy at home and asked her to record Sports Center for us. I suspected that the plays made in the game would find their way to the top ten plays of the night. Sure enough, we put the recorded Sports Center on the television and I got to see a tremendous infield catch by Yunel Escobar behind second base, a throwdown by Brian McCann to the relief pitcher at home after a wild pitch to the backstop, and the aforementioned catch by the reserve first baseman for the final out. Three of the best plays of the night.
Despite the heat and the humidity and the self-imposed dryness caused by ingesting half a bag of salted, roasted peanuts, the two Budweisers notwithstanding, that was a great night in the ATL. Its a shame more people couldn't have been with us. And you know who you are.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Weekend of the Fourth
Well, today is July 2nd and business is winding down as we head into the July 4th weekend. Very few people have been calling or coming by and there has been little mail to speak of. Kate is coming back home from Dunwoody, bringing a check from a client, and we are going to go to Turner Field tonight for a baseball game between the Braves and the Phillies. The Phillies are in first, but the Braves have cut the distance between themselves and first place by beating the Phillies twice in a row. Huzzah!
Once Kate arrives from Atlanta, I will deal with a few assorted matters and then head home to change clothes and get ready to drive back to Atlanta. Over the next few days, Kate will probably feel a little like a yoyo.
Yesterday, around lunch, I went home and suddenly started to suffer from the opening salvoes from a migrane headache. It was fun. And got worse. At that point, Cindy was going to Cissie's house to swim and enjoy the afternoon, so I joined her and got to take an hour's nap and swim for a bit until we went home and I could head up to Truitt's for supper. When Cindy and I are at home together, we don't tend to eat much.
I didn't get much sleep last night and I have a short closing tomorrow before the holiday starts in earnest. I will enjoy the possibility of a relaxing weekend in Dunwoody and a bit more sleep than I have had over the past few days.
Time to enjoy the watermelon and the peaches and the home made ice cream and the fireworks and the hot dogs and hamburgers. Happy Birthday America!
Once Kate arrives from Atlanta, I will deal with a few assorted matters and then head home to change clothes and get ready to drive back to Atlanta. Over the next few days, Kate will probably feel a little like a yoyo.
Yesterday, around lunch, I went home and suddenly started to suffer from the opening salvoes from a migrane headache. It was fun. And got worse. At that point, Cindy was going to Cissie's house to swim and enjoy the afternoon, so I joined her and got to take an hour's nap and swim for a bit until we went home and I could head up to Truitt's for supper. When Cindy and I are at home together, we don't tend to eat much.
I didn't get much sleep last night and I have a short closing tomorrow before the holiday starts in earnest. I will enjoy the possibility of a relaxing weekend in Dunwoody and a bit more sleep than I have had over the past few days.
Time to enjoy the watermelon and the peaches and the home made ice cream and the fireworks and the hot dogs and hamburgers. Happy Birthday America!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)