When the children all leave, where are you left, as a parent? There is only one thing to do: you must re-discover the spouse you married before the advent of all the children. Sure you have changed. You are older. More set in your ways and habits and wishes. But the one beside you is still the one you fell for long ago. Re-discover her.
Long before the Beatles, the New Testament letter writer reminded us that love is the basis upon which the world is built. And redeemed. And overcome.
We are so different. It is a wonder that we can enter into marriage, much less make it work for the long haul. People are different. Their differences are like walking through the butterfly center at Callaway Gardens. Just a cornucopia of colors and shapes and sizes.
But what makes marriage work and what binds us together is that simple gift of love. A gift of God, no doubt.
When I was in college, I had an English professor who defined a miracle as "the imposition of God's hand on the natural world." There are many ways to rephrase that sentence. The presence of the infinite in the finite. The touch of God on the mortal world. The ghost in the machinery.
As a Presbyterian, I see God's sovereign hand in everything. Nothing in the universe lies outside God's control. So to say something is a miracle, is really nothing unusual. Everything is God's creation. Everything is God's gift. The love we have for our spouses and our children and for our fellow man is nothing more or less than the presence of the Creator in our lives.
At our core, God is.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Gossip
In "Life on the Mississippi", by Mark Twain, the first half of the book is a factual description of navigation on the Mississippi. At the time Twain wrote this book, the river was a living entity which changed its patterns and courses daily. Twain described how the river constantly changed its course over time so that river towns often lost their access to the river or the river curled around the towns so that the shore might be on the east side of town one year and on the west the following year.
The constant changes to the river were seen on the surface of the river as well. The pilot of a river boat was required to constantly keep an eye on the surface of the river because the way the water flowed over what was beneath told a story about the depth and terrain below the surface. This, of course, was important to the pilot, since the draft of the river boat needed so much water beneath to enable the boat to pass safely down river.
Over the years, the Army Corps of Engineers attempted to alter the flow of the river to end the constant flooding of Spring and to regulate the position of the river. The efforts of the Corps has enabled smoother passage for shipping up and down the river, but has also exacerbated problems from time to time with the flooding caused by heavy rains. In 1927, for instance, heavy flooding in the upper tributaries of the Mississippi ended up flooding the lower parishes of southeast Louisiana below New Orleans. When faced with the threat of flooding, the city fathers of New Orleans worked a deal with the governments of the lower parishes to allow the flood waters to alleviate themselves in those parishes in an effort to save the City of New Orleans from flooding. Dynamiting the levees, the waters flooded the poorer parishes south of Louisiana, saving the city from further damage.
At the same time, flood waters overwhelmed the levees north of Louisiana in Mississippi. Frantically, the wealthier citizens of the area enlisted the poorer citizens to sandbag the levees. At one point in these efforts, the poorer citizens were required to act as human sandbags to stop the water from flowing over the levees. It is no wonder that after this flooding there was a mass exodus from little towns and hamlets along the Mississippi to the cities to the north. It was hard enough to deal with the racism of the land owners, but dealing with the changes in the river, as well, was a whole different battle.
Sometimes the efforts we take to resolve the natural problems we encounter create bigger problems for us down the road. In 1927, the efforts of the Army Corps of Engineers to ameliorate the natural problems encountered on the Mississippi River and its tributaries caused enormous problems when combined with the normal changes caused by nature.
Just like the Mississippi, ripples on the surface of our world often indicate problems we cannot see below the surface. The normal course of life in a town like Griffin flows and meanders in its own way and changes from time to time. Serious changes in the speed and flow of peoples' private lives cause changes below the surface. Changes below the surface reflect on the surface as well. Like an iceberg, the surface changes only give a hint of what larger changes are going on beneath the surface.
There is so much going in the private lives of the people around us. Things that they may hide from the light of day. Events of which we don't even take notice. On the surface, they might just appear as a slight ripple. Below, all sorts of devilment are occurring. Then, like a stone being dropped in a pond, the effects can ripple out and effect the entire area of the waters.
Like the old pilots on the Mississippi, we have to constantly keep an eye on the surface of life around us. We have to learn how to read the surface and know when the ripples and cuts we see on the surface hint at greater events below. Its hard to know when these surface ripples are indications of bigger problems. But it is incumbent upon us to educate ourselves as to the meaning of those ripples.
Keep an eye on the waters around you.
The constant changes to the river were seen on the surface of the river as well. The pilot of a river boat was required to constantly keep an eye on the surface of the river because the way the water flowed over what was beneath told a story about the depth and terrain below the surface. This, of course, was important to the pilot, since the draft of the river boat needed so much water beneath to enable the boat to pass safely down river.
Over the years, the Army Corps of Engineers attempted to alter the flow of the river to end the constant flooding of Spring and to regulate the position of the river. The efforts of the Corps has enabled smoother passage for shipping up and down the river, but has also exacerbated problems from time to time with the flooding caused by heavy rains. In 1927, for instance, heavy flooding in the upper tributaries of the Mississippi ended up flooding the lower parishes of southeast Louisiana below New Orleans. When faced with the threat of flooding, the city fathers of New Orleans worked a deal with the governments of the lower parishes to allow the flood waters to alleviate themselves in those parishes in an effort to save the City of New Orleans from flooding. Dynamiting the levees, the waters flooded the poorer parishes south of Louisiana, saving the city from further damage.
At the same time, flood waters overwhelmed the levees north of Louisiana in Mississippi. Frantically, the wealthier citizens of the area enlisted the poorer citizens to sandbag the levees. At one point in these efforts, the poorer citizens were required to act as human sandbags to stop the water from flowing over the levees. It is no wonder that after this flooding there was a mass exodus from little towns and hamlets along the Mississippi to the cities to the north. It was hard enough to deal with the racism of the land owners, but dealing with the changes in the river, as well, was a whole different battle.
Sometimes the efforts we take to resolve the natural problems we encounter create bigger problems for us down the road. In 1927, the efforts of the Army Corps of Engineers to ameliorate the natural problems encountered on the Mississippi River and its tributaries caused enormous problems when combined with the normal changes caused by nature.
Just like the Mississippi, ripples on the surface of our world often indicate problems we cannot see below the surface. The normal course of life in a town like Griffin flows and meanders in its own way and changes from time to time. Serious changes in the speed and flow of peoples' private lives cause changes below the surface. Changes below the surface reflect on the surface as well. Like an iceberg, the surface changes only give a hint of what larger changes are going on beneath the surface.
There is so much going in the private lives of the people around us. Things that they may hide from the light of day. Events of which we don't even take notice. On the surface, they might just appear as a slight ripple. Below, all sorts of devilment are occurring. Then, like a stone being dropped in a pond, the effects can ripple out and effect the entire area of the waters.
Like the old pilots on the Mississippi, we have to constantly keep an eye on the surface of life around us. We have to learn how to read the surface and know when the ripples and cuts we see on the surface hint at greater events below. Its hard to know when these surface ripples are indications of bigger problems. But it is incumbent upon us to educate ourselves as to the meaning of those ripples.
Keep an eye on the waters around you.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sometimes
In practicing law, you can toodle along trying to gather up fees wherever you may, like the flowers of Spring. In this regard, the business of the law is like any other vocation you might try. However, sometimes, in representing your clients, you become face to face with the inadequacies of your position and wonder, again, how you can possibly be creative and wrest victory from the leavings on the barroom floor.
It is at these times, when the darkness of the coming night falls faster on your head and you lose your sense of the possibility of the day. Your feeling of immortality is lost and you wonder if there is enough time and enough shovel with which to dig your way out of the hole in which you now find yourself.
On a fine February day in Middle Georgia, you sit and contemplate the fact that despite your fears and pessimism, you still find yourself with more daylight coming at you at the end of the day. You find that the day is not so cold and bitter and the nights not so chilly. You catch a glimpse of Spring through the sight of a sweet, yellow crocus pushing its delicate head up from the loam. You feel, not immortal, but privy to some gifts which might hold you in your stead.
And the coming of another year is not so dreary that you lose the rising and falling of your heart in your chest. No, your heart is still beating and the impulses continue to run through your brain. And its simply not that bad.
Sometimes.
And sometimes you are grateful. Rightfully so.
It is at these times, when the darkness of the coming night falls faster on your head and you lose your sense of the possibility of the day. Your feeling of immortality is lost and you wonder if there is enough time and enough shovel with which to dig your way out of the hole in which you now find yourself.
On a fine February day in Middle Georgia, you sit and contemplate the fact that despite your fears and pessimism, you still find yourself with more daylight coming at you at the end of the day. You find that the day is not so cold and bitter and the nights not so chilly. You catch a glimpse of Spring through the sight of a sweet, yellow crocus pushing its delicate head up from the loam. You feel, not immortal, but privy to some gifts which might hold you in your stead.
And the coming of another year is not so dreary that you lose the rising and falling of your heart in your chest. No, your heart is still beating and the impulses continue to run through your brain. And its simply not that bad.
Sometimes.
And sometimes you are grateful. Rightfully so.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Merry-go-round
Oh, to be twenty two,
When the world beyond your front door
Knocks at that thin slip of wood
That separates you from your next step.
Outside,
A big blue sky and a long, winding trail:
So many possibilities.
Do you not see the world is at your feet?
A space reserved just for you,
An extra special place in which to live
And dream and err.
For 'to err is human'
And you have made no irreversible errors,
At this point,
And it is only what you take from them
And which path you choose thereafter,
When the errors you make
Slap you in the face
And remind you that you are human
And fallible.
But your mother and I love you
And we will always be here for you
And you needn't fear if your old room
At the end of the upstairs hallway
Quits being the upstairs storage
And becomes your new room again,
Until the light from the tunnel
Becomes the train on which you ride.
1. There is no failure unless you don't try.
2. There is always another option.
3. Buy a ticket.
4. What do you want to try?
When the world beyond your front door
Knocks at that thin slip of wood
That separates you from your next step.
Outside,
A big blue sky and a long, winding trail:
So many possibilities.
Do you not see the world is at your feet?
A space reserved just for you,
An extra special place in which to live
And dream and err.
For 'to err is human'
And you have made no irreversible errors,
At this point,
And it is only what you take from them
And which path you choose thereafter,
When the errors you make
Slap you in the face
And remind you that you are human
And fallible.
But your mother and I love you
And we will always be here for you
And you needn't fear if your old room
At the end of the upstairs hallway
Quits being the upstairs storage
And becomes your new room again,
Until the light from the tunnel
Becomes the train on which you ride.
1. There is no failure unless you don't try.
2. There is always another option.
3. Buy a ticket.
4. What do you want to try?
Kate on the edge
This weekend Kate came home and met us at my parents' house in Dunwoody. We went to supper and then drove home. Kate told us that she had a lot to do over the weekend and would not be able to spend much time with us going to Callaway or whatever might appeal to us.
However, by the time the morning ended, Kate decided she wanted to go see Becca, her little cousin, in the hospital in Atlanta. So, Cindy, Kate and I prepared for a trip to Eggleston Children's Hospital and headed north. Earlier that day, Cindy and Kate had got into a row with each other concerning Kate's efforts to secure employment after graduation. Afterward, Cindy told me I would need to get involved.
So, as we drove up to Atlanta, each of us imprisoned in the car, we began to discuss the situation. Kate is apparently very anxious about this and worried about what she is going to do. The concern we have is the problem of this anxiety freezing her up so that she doesn't take advantage of the possibilities available to her.
She needs to know that her mother and father are here and will provide any support she might need. She also needs to know that coming home for a brief time while she works on seeking employment is not the end of the world. I know that many adult children go home after college for a short time to decompress and consider their options. There is nothing wrong with that. I hope she doesn't sell herself short and lose opportunities which are available to her out there. Kate is smart and gifted and shouldn't have to worry about such things, any more than the next person. In addition, she should know that everyone else is worrying about this in this economy, and there is no reason why she is any different from anyone else. But she does have talent and she does have possibilities and she needs to consider the road she is on and where she wants to travel.
Twenty two is a young age. So many options are out there. And there are so little fences.
However, by the time the morning ended, Kate decided she wanted to go see Becca, her little cousin, in the hospital in Atlanta. So, Cindy, Kate and I prepared for a trip to Eggleston Children's Hospital and headed north. Earlier that day, Cindy and Kate had got into a row with each other concerning Kate's efforts to secure employment after graduation. Afterward, Cindy told me I would need to get involved.
So, as we drove up to Atlanta, each of us imprisoned in the car, we began to discuss the situation. Kate is apparently very anxious about this and worried about what she is going to do. The concern we have is the problem of this anxiety freezing her up so that she doesn't take advantage of the possibilities available to her.
She needs to know that her mother and father are here and will provide any support she might need. She also needs to know that coming home for a brief time while she works on seeking employment is not the end of the world. I know that many adult children go home after college for a short time to decompress and consider their options. There is nothing wrong with that. I hope she doesn't sell herself short and lose opportunities which are available to her out there. Kate is smart and gifted and shouldn't have to worry about such things, any more than the next person. In addition, she should know that everyone else is worrying about this in this economy, and there is no reason why she is any different from anyone else. But she does have talent and she does have possibilities and she needs to consider the road she is on and where she wants to travel.
Twenty two is a young age. So many options are out there. And there are so little fences.
Friday, February 8, 2008
A body at rest
Well, well, well.
Deep subject.
Kate comes home today. She will meet Cindy and myself in Dunwoody. She won't be able to leave Clinton until after 3:00. So I guess we will see her around 6:30. If she makes it through the traffic.
Last night Cindy and I watched several movies and ate a supper of soup and salad in the living room. With everyone gone and the dog sleeping in a chair by himself, we rested from the day in the living room of our house. The last hour or two, Cindy lay down next to me and rested her head in my lap as I stroked her head. After all the fuss and mess of the last week, it was rather sweet for the two of us to sit in that posture for several hours.
There are moments in marriage when the peace and unity and solitude of the couple reach a moment of sublimity. Perhaps that is the ultimate reward of this sweet institution.
There are many times of stress where the weight of the day and the week and the circumstances can cause us to hiss and spit like two cats. But the end of the day can still show the beauty of the connection. And those moments are not so few and far between that we have to strain to remember them.
Thank God.
Deep subject.
Kate comes home today. She will meet Cindy and myself in Dunwoody. She won't be able to leave Clinton until after 3:00. So I guess we will see her around 6:30. If she makes it through the traffic.
Last night Cindy and I watched several movies and ate a supper of soup and salad in the living room. With everyone gone and the dog sleeping in a chair by himself, we rested from the day in the living room of our house. The last hour or two, Cindy lay down next to me and rested her head in my lap as I stroked her head. After all the fuss and mess of the last week, it was rather sweet for the two of us to sit in that posture for several hours.
There are moments in marriage when the peace and unity and solitude of the couple reach a moment of sublimity. Perhaps that is the ultimate reward of this sweet institution.
There are many times of stress where the weight of the day and the week and the circumstances can cause us to hiss and spit like two cats. But the end of the day can still show the beauty of the connection. And those moments are not so few and far between that we have to strain to remember them.
Thank God.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Thursday and a weekend awaits
This has been a bad day in many ways. It started off rather well, when I was able to complete three title searches in Spalding County. Then again, I received a communication from a new lender in Pennsylvania who is attempting to close a loan for a client who has been trying to close for about two months now. The lender with whom I spoke was not willing to say we were close to closing any time soon.
Tomorrow will be spent in Atlanta with Cindy and her doctors and Becca and her parents in the hospital. It is quite sad. I need to contact several folks about different things during the day. Hopefully, the rest of the business of the office will continue in a toodling manner.
I am still awaiting checks from various parties. I really wonder about the check to be mailed from Barnesville. I don't trust any of the parties involved in the transaction.
I wonder about other things that are supposed to be happening. People keep dropping off the planet after I speak with them. I feel jinxed to a degree.
Well, I need to go home. See you in the morning.
Tomorrow will be spent in Atlanta with Cindy and her doctors and Becca and her parents in the hospital. It is quite sad. I need to contact several folks about different things during the day. Hopefully, the rest of the business of the office will continue in a toodling manner.
I am still awaiting checks from various parties. I really wonder about the check to be mailed from Barnesville. I don't trust any of the parties involved in the transaction.
I wonder about other things that are supposed to be happening. People keep dropping off the planet after I speak with them. I feel jinxed to a degree.
Well, I need to go home. See you in the morning.
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